1. How were you able to become a writer professionally?

It took years.  We’re talking like 12 or so?  Something like that.  I’ve told the story of how I lost my job due to a back injury, and started writing for Cracked to help fill in some of the financial gap.  But at the heart of it, it just took an insane amount of work.  Writing constantly and making sure it wasn’t just a string of words — that the article actually meant something.  Cracked saw that I was able to do that consistently, and they offered me a column spot based on my proven work.

2. Was your goal to be a humor writer, or do you have more serious interests that you’d like to pursue?

I always wanted to make a living as a comedy writer, so I’m very happy with where I’ve ended up.  I do have a book that I’m working on which is a lot more serious than my Cracked stuff.  Hopefully, I’ll have something to show later this year.

3. What are your goals now?  I’m assuming you had different goals when you were starting out.

Right now, I’m working on becoming more of a face on Cracked.  As in more of a recognizable personality.  I’m not much of a performer, so I can’t see myself doing many videos, though that seems to be the route one has to take in order to get a full-on recognizable personality.  People tend to skip over author names, so even with the high traffic of articles, writing alone won’t do it.  I have to dive into other projects.

4. Would you stop by South Carolina some time and eat BBQ with me?

I have friends in Greenville, so if I’m ever down that way, I’ll take you up on that.

5. Can I write anything on my gut for you?  Anything at all.  The wife loves wasting lipstick like that.

Maybe something like, “John Cheese is in here.”